How to Get Your Child to Study: What Years of Tutoring Have Taught Me

Why won't my child start studying?

When a child sits at the desk and nothing happens, it is tempting to call it laziness. Most of the time the child is stuck at the very first step. The work feels too big, they are not sure where to begin, or the last attempt went badly and they would rather not feel that again.

Starting is hardest for work that is long and open-ended. A page of maths questions has an obvious first question. An essay, a set of notes to revise or a language paper has a blank page, and the first sentence is the hardest one to write.

These are all problems a parent can help with, because each one has a practical fix: a smaller first task, a clear plan for what to do tonight, and a set time so the decision to start is already made.

Does motivation come before starting, or after?

Ask a student why they have not started and the answer is often some version of "I don't feel like it yet". Many students believe they need to feel motivated before they can begin, so they wait for the feeling. Some evenings it never comes.

After years of tutoring, I have found that motivation usually comes after starting. Once a student has written the first few lines or finished the first question, the work becomes something they are in the middle of, and carrying on is far easier than beginning. The feeling they were waiting for turns up once they are already working.

So the goal is to make the first five minutes easy:

1. Shrink the first task. One question, one paragraph or ten flashcards: something that can be started in under a minute.
2. Decide it the night before. A note on the desk saying exactly what to start with removes the "where do I begin?" moment.
3. Start at the same time each day. When the time is fixed, starting stops being a decision to argue about.
4. Count starting as success. In the early weeks, praise sitting down and beginning, before worrying about how much got done.

Why build study habits at a young age?

Habits are easiest to build before the workload grows. In the younger grades, homework is short and the stakes are low, which makes it the right time to practise sitting down at a set time and starting without a fuss. By IGCSE, and certainly by the IB Diploma, the work includes coursework, the internal assessment and the Extended Essay, with deadlines spread across months. A student who already has a routine takes this in their stride. A student who has always relied on last-minute pressure or a parent's reminder finds the step up much harder.

What the habit looks like changes with age:

• Younger children do best with short sessions, the same time and place each day, an adult nearby and a clear finish, such as showing what they completed.
• Teenagers need more ownership: their own plan for the week, the phone out of the room, and a check-in from someone they respect that is short and regular.

At every age, the pattern parents are aiming for is the same: a known time, a known place and an easy start.

Why does nagging make it worse?

Reminders feel like the responsible thing to do, and in the short term they sometimes work. Over months, they tend to make things worse in two ways.

1. Study becomes a fight. When the parent is the one enforcing study every evening, homework turns into a contest between parent and child, and the relationship carries the cost.
2. The reminder becomes the cue. A child who is always reminded learns to start when reminded. The routine never becomes theirs, so it falls apart the moment the reminders stop, which is often just when the workload rises.

What helps is agreeing the time and place once, calmly, and then letting the routine do the reminding. Where possible, hand the day-to-day accountability to a neutral adult, such as a tutor or a supervised study session, so the parent can go back to being the person who notices effort and progress.

Does my child need more structure? A seven-sign check

Tick each sign that is true for your child most weeks. It is a self-check for parents to think with, and nothing you tick is saved or sent anywhere.

• The setting changes everything. In class, in a group or with someone nearby, they work steadily. Alone in their room, very little happens.
• Starting is the battle. Getting them to begin takes negotiation, but once they have started they often keep going without complaint.
• Effort has no shape. They do study, but they choose whatever feels urgent or comfortable tonight, and the subjects they dread never come up.
• Intentions are sincere and outcomes are thin. "I'll do it after dinner" is meant honestly, and after dinner passes without it happening.
• Deadlines work suspiciously well. The night before something is due, they can produce focused, competent work for hours.
• Scolding produces bursts. After a serious talk there are two good days, then the old pattern returns.
• They relax when someone takes charge. When a schedule or a session is simply arranged for them, there is quiet relief, even if they would never say so.

Count the signs you ticked, then read what your count means below.

What your count means

• Five or more: the pattern points at structure. Your child has the ability and, usually, the willingness. What is missing is a set time, a set place and someone neutral keeping the session going.
• Two to four: a mixed picture. Structure may be the gap in some subjects, while in others the work itself is hard. The useful question is whether they understand the work once they do it.
• None or one: structure is probably not the issue. Look at whether the work is understood, whether the workload is reasonable, and how your child is feeling more generally.

Why do students focus better when others around them are working?

One of the clearest things the Teaching Assistants at KS Academia Prep see in supervised study is that students focus more when there is a group of students working around them.

The effect is strongest for written papers, such as language papers. Writing a long answer alone takes a long time and needs focus to be held for the whole stretch, and that is exactly when a student sitting alone in a room struggles to begin. In a room where their peers are writing, starting feels normal, and students keep going for longer. The Teaching Assistants see their productivity improve.

Parents can borrow some of this at home: study alongside a sibling at the same table, or sit nearby doing your own reading or work. The aim is a room where working quietly is simply what everyone is doing.

What actually helps a child study?

Taken together, the things that help are practical and unglamorous. In my experience, a child who has most of these in place studies far more steadily than one who has been told to try harder:

1. A set time, the same on most days, so starting is already decided.
2. A set place, away from the bed and the television, used only for work.
3. The phone in another room for the whole session.
4. A small first task, written down the night before.
5. Work that matches recent lessons, so practice reinforces what was just taught while it is fresh.
6. Someone checking in who is not the parent, such as a tutor or a supervised session.
7. A short review at the end: what got done, and what tomorrow's first task is.

For spacing revision over days and weeks, the free spaced-repetition revision scheduler builds a review timetable from a test date.

How long should a study session be?

The length matters less than what happens inside it. A shorter session spent answering questions and testing recall does more than a long evening of rereading notes with a phone nearby. For younger children, start with short sessions they can finish well, and lengthen them gradually as the habit settles.

A quick way to check whether the time is working is to ask one question at dinner: "What can you tell me about tonight's topic without your notes?" A clear answer means the session worked. "I went through my notes" means the next step is a better method of studying.

What if my child has lost confidence after bad grades?

A disappointing set of results can make a child stop trying, because not trying feels safer than trying and failing again. Pushing harder at this point tends to make it worse. What rebuilds confidence is a run of small, visible wins.

• Separate the grade from the child. A grade describes one paper on one day. Say so plainly.
• Look at the method together. Find one specific thing that went wrong, such as running out of time or not practising past questions, and change only that.
• Start with one subject. Small progress in one place is easier to notice than a little in every subject.
• Notice the process. Praise the routine and the effort you can see, before the next result arrives.

What happens in a supervised study session at KS Academia Prep?

Study Supervision at KS Academia Prep gives students the structure described above in one place: a set time, a quiet classroom, a Teaching Assistant and peers who are working too. It is run on the KS Academia Prep Study Supervision System and is free for enrolled students, in selected time slots arranged with the centre.

1. The parent arranges the slot. A parent messages the centre, and the centre admin replies with the available slots and tells the student which classroom to report to.
2. A Teaching Assistant is present for the session, and the student works alongside other students who are studying too.
3. Phones stay outside the classroom. Students leave them in a phone locker or on a shelf, both covered by CCTV, so theft is not a concern. In an emergency, parents contact the centre.
4. The work follows the tutor's plan. Weekly revision plans are set by the student's tutors, and the Teaching Assistant works with the tutor to arrange materials, so what the student does in the session reinforces what they learnt in recent lessons.

More about how the programme works is on the Study Supervision page.

Questions parents ask

How do I motivate my child to study?

Make starting easy before expecting motivation. In Kirby Ng's years of tutoring at KS Academia Prep, motivation usually arrives a few minutes after a student starts, not before. Set a time and a place, keep the phone in another room, agree a small first task the night before, and in the early weeks praise starting before worrying about how much got done.

Why is my child not motivated to study?

Usually because they are stuck at the first step, not because they do not care. The work feels too big, they are not sure where to begin, or a recent bad result makes trying feel risky. Each has a practical fix: a smaller first task, a clear plan for tonight, and a set time so the decision to start is already made.

Is my child lazy if they won't study?

Usually not. Most children who avoid studying are stuck at the start, and in Kirby Ng's experience as a tutor at KS Academia Prep, a set time, a set place and a small first task help more than pressure. If the avoidance comes with low mood that lasts or withdrawal from friends, speak to the school counsellor or a doctor.

My child refuses to study. Should I force them?

Forcing it every evening tends to backfire. Study becomes a fight between parent and child, and the child learns to start only when reminded, so the routine collapses when the reminders stop. Agree the time and place once, calmly, let the routine do the reminding, and where possible hand day-to-day accountability to a neutral adult, such as a tutor or a supervised study session.

How do I motivate my teenager to study?

Start with what is in their control rather than how they feel. Agree a set time and a set place once, keep the phone in another room, and let them choose tonight's first small task. Teenagers need ownership of their plan and a short, regular check-in from someone they respect, which works better than daily reminders from a parent.

Should I take my child's phone away while they study?

Keeping the phone in another room for the whole session works best. In supervised study at KS Academia Prep, students leave their phones outside the classroom in a phone locker or on a shelf covered by CCTV, and parents contact the centre in an emergency.

Is supervised study the same as tuition?

They do different jobs. In tuition, a tutor teaches new content. In supervised study, students do their own work in a quiet room with a Teaching Assistant present. At KS Academia Prep the two are linked: tutors set the weekly revision plan, and the Teaching Assistant arranges materials so the session reinforces recent lessons.

Who can use Study Supervision at KS Academia Prep?

Study Supervision is free for students enrolled at KS Academia Prep, in selected time slots arranged with the centre. A parent messages the centre, and the centre admin confirms the slot and tells the student which classroom to report to.

A healthy place to study and grow

At KS Academia Prep, we would like to provide a healthy environment for every student to grow, so that they can achieve the results they want. If your child would benefit from a set time, a quiet classroom, a Teaching Assistant and peers who are working too, message us to ask about Study Supervision.

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KS Academia Prep, Far East Shopping Centre, #15-06, 545 Orchard Road, Singapore 238882. WhatsApp +65 8129 8782.

Page last updated 20 October 2026.